First, let me start by saying that I am in no way an expert on boundaries and I have not actual training in this area. Most of my experience with boundaries is from personal experience, observation, continued learning, and what I see in the clinic; I can however recommend a professional or two if you are in need of some support with this.
Although I am not an expert, boundaries are something that I have come to feel strongly about personally and professionally.
So even though this is a topic that can quite frankly be intimidating to ponder, it is also a topic that has the power to help you live your most amazing holistic life.
Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You get to teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won't accept. ~Anna Taylor
What are some signs you need healthy boundaries?
Most of my personal work on boundaries has happened without even realizing that was what I was establishing.
All I knew was that there was something in my life that I did not feel was acceptable and I had to figure out what I felt was acceptable moving forward.
Often establishing boundaries results from feeling resentment, frustration, angry, and burnout ... spoiler alert, these are all indicators of poor or weak boundaries.
Feeling bad or guilty when you say NO ... not feeling able to say NO ... feeling you need to explain your decisions or rationalize your choices and decisions to others ... not speaking up when you are treated poorly ... letting others define you ... giving as much as you can without thought for your self or your well being.
What are healthy boundaries?
To start creating healthy boundaries, we must first look at what boundaries actually are.
Healthy boundaries are the physical, emotional, and mental limits we establish in order to protect ourselves, our time, our energy, our relationships, and our well being.
They are a way of communicating to others that we have self respect and self worth; and are a means to take control of your life, preserve your integrity, to take responsibility for who you really are and create your best life.
Ultimately boundaries act like filters on your life, letting in what is acceptable and keeping out what isn't.
Healthy boundaries are critical to your self care.
What do healthy boundaries look like?
Here are some of my personal boundaries as well as some that I have found through my learning ...
Some boundary setting guidance
Love yourself enough to set boundaries!
Brien-anne RMT, CA
I am passionate not only about Massage Therapy & Aromatherapy, but also living a holistic lifestyle and empowering & inspiring others to do the same!