I have spent a lot of time recently chatting with clients about their stress level & wellbeing.
 
Pretty consistently we talk about how out of control stress is right now, and how they just don’t know what to do about it.
 
Since the stressors aren’t going away anytime soon, it’s time to create a healing ritual of mindfulness, meditation and gratitude to allow you to feel calm and to interrupt the chronic stress cycle.
 
Often, I hear that people don’t find breathing exercises helpful in moments of stress crisis (whenever the fight or flight part of your nervous system is triggered for whatever reason).
 
But I think that all it takes is creating a ritual around your breathing exercise and consistent practice to condition your mind and body to relax and breathing to calm.
 
Eventually your ritual will be successful at breaking the stress cycle in those critical moments of stress & crisis.
 
Rituals allow you to quickly and more easily shift and engage in a specific mindset. 
 
Basically you are giving your brain the cues that tell it what is coming so it can say “oh, we like the serenity we feel after this, let’s get right to that”.

Think about when you get on the massage table for your appointment, once you are settled you probably have a big sigh exhale and immediately start to let go and relax. Same exact thing.
 
So if your goal is to calm and sooth your nervous system, having a ritual around your breathing exercise can help you more quickly achieve that serenity and calm.
 
Creating Your Own Ritual
 
Your ritual should have a couple of key components when your goal is reducing your stress response. Basically the more cues you can give your brain the better, but keep it simple enough that you don’t get bogged down in the process and end up more stressed or frustrated than when you started.

1. Smell – an essential oil like lavender or frankincense or a stress relief rollerball and rub some on the palm of your hands, along your collar bones, and under your jaw; light your favourite candle or burn your favourite incense.
2. Sound – total quiet (absence of distracting sounds, even a fan); soothing nature sounds; calm classical music (check out Ludovico Einaudi, his seven days walking collection is amazing!); Tibetan singing bowl; whatever calms you. I tend to gravitate to total quiet because my house is generally full of noise, so quiet is peaceful and calming for me.
3. Breathing – any breathing exercise that works towards slow, deep breaths will interrupt the cycle of stress hormones (breathing exercises to try); choose whatever works for you, I love moon piercing breath, especially when I preform my ritual right before bed, but in the morning you might want an energizing breath like sun piercing breath.
4. Gratitude – think of 3 things you are grateful for or 3 good, joyful, wonderful things that happened that day (even if all you can think of is you drank a full cup of tea hot, you showered, and everyone is now asleep in bed); some days this is the hardest part, we tend to get bogged down by the negative or what didn't go well, but adding gratitude to your ritual helps to flip your mindset and put you in a more positive, hopeful place helping to reduce your feelings of stressed and overwhelmed.

 
Some other things that can add power to your ritual ... crystals like amethyst (has a calming vibration that is wonderful in times of anxiety and stress) or rose quartz (has a strong vibration of unconditional love, joy, warmth and connection to the heart); a mala to mark of your breaths; a mantra, my favourite one recently is Shima (pronounced she-ma) which means Love; a dedicated space to practice; aura spray (I love these from Alypsis); a mediation cushion (comfort is key).
 
What is the best time of day to practice?
 
Well this depends entirely on you.
 
If your quiet moment is when the kids are down for a nap, do it then.
 
When your stress is waking you up during the night, try preforming your ritual just prior to bed.
 
Alternately, you could try first thing in the morning for a positive and calm start to your day.

The key is to pick a time that you can consistently commit to practicing your ritual.

Rituals don’t have to take an incredible amount of time, but they do need to be practiced regularly in order for you to experience the quick and easy slip into your desired mindset.
 
Real Life Inspiration
 
One of my clients was struggling to calm her mind and get good restful sleep at night, so the ritual below is what we pulled together for her to try.

​She practiced this ritual every night, just before turning off the lights, and by her next massage appointment 4 weeks later was already experiencing improved sleep which in turn made the days easier to handle. It was still a work in progress for her, but she was beginning to feel less overwhelmed and stressed; and the plan was to continue with regularly incorporating her ritual into her bedtime routine.

So much of our world now is fast, fast, fast … even the physical speed we move at can be fast. How much can you accomplish in a small amount of time? How much can you cram into a weekend or a day off? How productive can you be?

But is that really what is best for us?

What would happen if you tried to slow down and be a little less busy? A little less productive? Move a little slower? Accomplished a little less?

One of my favorite ways to slow down is to head to a forest for a wander. Not a speed walk, but a dawdle through the trees with my camera. Taking in all that I can and capturing all the amazing things that I see along the way.

This way of basking in nature is actually referred to as Forest Therapy or Forest Bathing.

Forest Therapy in the simplest of forms can be described as mindfulness in nature. It revolves around spending time in nature, particularly among the trees.

​Taking your time to move slowly through the environment, or even just sit. Close your eyes and just breath … then open your eyes and open your senses.

What can you see … what do you smell … what can you hear … is it warm or cool … what does the light look like as it filters through the trees?

Taking the time to notice big & little things like tiny mushrooms on the forest floor or how the branches of the trees catch the falling snow.

Spending time in nature can actually be an antidote for stress!

It can actually lower you blood pressure and cortisol levels, decrease nervous system arousal, enhance immune system function, decrease anxiety, and improve mood.

We have reached the point in the year where all the Christmas prep is done, all the gifts are wrapped and the groceries bought.

It is a time of year where you can sit back and appreciate what the last year has brought us before we turn our sights forwards again to the new year.

Now, in all brutal honesty, I have never been one to set new years resolutions or intentions. Why set myself up for failure and disappointment when I don’t meet my goals?

BUT

I am all for the practice of choosing how I want to feel next year … or more specifically, how I want to feel every single day.

About a year and a half ago now, I was introduced to this idea in a book called The Desire Map (bless you Jane for the recommendation and Danielle Laport for all of your wonderful inspiring work).

As soon as I started reading my copy from the library it struck such a cord with me that I knew I needed to actually get a physical copy of the book. I needed to be able to hold the book in my hands, press it to my heart, and be able to revisit it regularly.

​It felt like Danielle Laporte was speaking directly to me.

The idea is that through a series of exercises you identify your Core Desired Feelings … the feelings that you ultimately want to be the driving force behind all of your choices and actions.
​
Once you have identified the feelings that resonate most you then make a list of intentional actions that answer the question …

What I found was that rarely were my intentional actions big and unspecific (like typical new years resolutions), but rather things I could easily fit in to my day, week, or month.

So … Where do you start?

First … I highly recommend checking out a copy of the book The Desire Map (either to buy directly from Danielle or from your local Chapters Indigo store or borrow it from your local library or online library ); if that is not possible for you there are lists of possible core desired feelings available online (like this one) … but really these are just to get you thinking … the options are limitless as long as they resonate with you and are how you want to feel.

Second … Once you settle on a couple of Core Desired Feelings (5 or so), sit with them for a bit … post them on your fridge, write them down in your planner … I ended up adding a word to my list about 6 months after I started, and this past fall I actually went back and redid the workbook because I just wasn’t quite feeling some of my words anymore (well really what I was feeling was that rather than being a CDF on their own they were actually ways to feel another CDF completely … nourishment for me is actually about Love rather than 2 separate things I wanted to feel).

Third … Find both little and big intentional actions to include in your life for each of your chosen feelings. This way, no matter what happens during the year you will have succeeded in feeling all your feels!

Forth … Go and live you life to the fullest with actions and choices that make you feel the way you want to feel.

Wishing you a wonderful holiday season and a blessed new year filled with all your feels!

Conscious Simplicity, is a phrase that I stumbled across recently.

It was one of those moments where the words leap right off the screen and almost smack you.

I immediately wrote them down in my planner, not wanting to forget the phrase, because it just felt that important. One of those moments when the universe is telling you to pay attention.

The more that I looked at those words over the next couple of days, the more clearly I knew that I needed to know more!

So what did I learn?

Conscious Simplicity, is about combining simplicity with the practice of mindfulness; conscious choice rather than autopilot or worse indifference. Choosing all of the people, experiences, and stuff that you bring into your life with intention. And embracing meaningful actions, experiences and encounters.

Like minimalism, it is partially about clearing the clutter – both physical and mental. But, unlike minimalism, it’s not about how little you can live with or how sparse your home décor is.
​
Rather consciously choosing to keep what brings you Joy. If a collage wall of your travel photos brings a smile and reminds you of all your wonderful travels, then hang them. If a giant bowl of rocks reminds you of all the places you collected them, display it, If your grandmother’s tea cup reminds you of her, bring them out of the cupboard and place it where you can see it. ​

While you are at it, declutter your email and social media notifications … hit unsubscribe.

Nothing will ruin the moment faster than a dinging phone!

Conscious simplicity is also about simple, uncomplicated relationships with people you love to spend time with; people who lift you up, light your soul, and are perfectly happy just being with you – no matter where you are.

It’s about cooking simple meals with whole foods for the people you love because it will nourish them (and you); it’s about not rushing through life, but slowing down and enjoying every moment.

It’s about putting a stop to over committing yourself; strive for less busy-ness. Block self-care into your calendar; set aside 1-2 hours everyday that are completely wide open and unscheduled – free time. Learn to say No. Delegate – you don’t have to do everything yourself.

Start single-tasking, put your focus wholly on one task at a time. Being completely present and enjoying that task with your whole heart.

It’s about having time to enjoy a walk outside, curl up with a good book, or watch a movie with your family; meditate or move your body in a way that brings you joy.

Making deeper, more joyful connections. Choosing quality over quantity in ALL aspects of your life. Seeking experiences that are deeply meaningful.

Remember to start small – pick 3 areas of your life to focus on first so that you don’t feel overwhelmed.

Practice mindfulness along the way.

​Expect some discomfort – if free time is causing you anxiety because you feel like your “should” be doing something, choose self-care.

Ask youself:

• Does it bring me Joy?
• Do I Love it?
• Does it serve a useful purpose?
• Is it important to me?
• Does it add value to my life?

​Don’t overthink it – there is no “right way” to do this. It’s what feels right for you, and aligns with why your wanted to move towards a simpler life in the first place.

I don't know about you, but this definately sounds like part of holistic living to me ... and it sounds like a positively wonderful way to live my life.