First, let me start by saying that I am in no way an expert on boundaries and I have not actual training in this area. Most of my experience with boundaries is from personal experience, observation, continued learning, and what I see in the clinic; I can however recommend a professional or two if you are in need of some support with this.

Although I am not an expert, boundaries are something that I have come to feel strongly about personally and professionally.

So even though this is a topic that can quite frankly be intimidating to ponder, it is also a topic that has the power to help you live your most amazing holistic life.

Most of my personal work on boundaries has happened without even realizing that was what I was establishing.

All I knew was that there was something in my life that I did not feel was acceptable and I had to figure out what I felt was acceptable moving forward.

Often establishing boundaries results from feeling resentment, frustration, angry, and burnout ... spoiler alert, these are all indicators of poor or weak boundaries.

​Other signs?

​Feeling bad or guilty when you say NO ... not feeling able to say NO ... feeling you need to explain your decisions or rationalize your choices and decisions to others ... not speaking up when you are treated poorly ... letting others define you ... giving as much as you can without thought for your self or your well being.

To start creating healthy boundaries, we must first look at what boundaries actually are.

Healthy boundaries are the physical, emotional, and mental limits we establish in order to protect ourselves, our time, our energy, our relationships, and our well being.

They are a way of communicating to others that we have self respect and self worth; and are a means to take control of your life, preserve your integrity, to take responsibility for who you really are and create your best life.

Ultimately boundaries act like filters on your life, letting in what is acceptable and keeping out what isn't.

Healthy boundaries are critical to your self care.

Here are some of my personal boundaries as well as some that I have found through my learning ...

• Say NO without guilt or an explanation!
• Ask for what you need or want!
• Don't apologize for your decisions!
• Take care of yourself!
• Say YES because you want to ... not because of obligations or to please others!
• Ask for help! “I need your help with ...”
• Behaving according to your own values & beliefs ... not the values & beliefs of others.
• Feeling safe to express difficult emotions and have disagreements.
• Choosing to agree to disagree.
• Feeling supported to pursue your goals!
• Being treated as an equal.
• Taking responsibility for your own happiness.
• Being in tune with your own feelings and put them into words.
• Know who you are, what you believe, what you like.
• Spend time alone when you need.
• Setting actual physical boundaries between work and life ... or time boundaries.
• Putting your phone on Do Not Disturb!
• And anything else that aligns with what you need and helps you create the life you love!

Love yourself enough to set boundaries!

​You are doing all the right things … eating to nourish your body, getting enough rest, moving your body every day, taking care of you. You even have your next massage (or 2 or 3) booked.

So what do you do when aches & pains pop up in between treatments?

Well first of all you can always call and try to get in earlier for you next massage treatment, nothing is ever set-in stone even if the appointment has been booked for months.

If this is not an option, here are some things to try once you determine what type of pain you are dealing with.

First … if the pain is related to an acute injury (sprains, strains, fall, contusion) pull the ice pack out of the freezer and RICE (rest ice compression elevate), particularly in the first couple of days after injury … this will help to minimize swelling, bruising, and inflammation.

If you don’t have an injury ice pack that lives in your freezer like I do, try a bag of frozen peas ... they work amazing because they easily contour around the injured area, just make sure you don’t accidentally cook them for dinner later lol.

Second … if the pain is related to muscle tension, then here are some options for you to try …

• Epsom salt bath​ … the magnesium content of Epsom salts helps muscles to relax
• Topical magnesium ... absorbs right where it is put to help relax your muscles
• Heat … helps sore, tight muscles relax and increases blood flow to the area
• Stretch … particularly tight postural and leg muscles
• Lacrosse ball … place the ball between the tight area and a wall then lean back and relax … the pressure on the muscle when held for 30+ sec can trigger the muscle to relax
• Foam roller … is self myofascial release that can help relieve muscle tightness and soreness ... really works well on legs and glutes and small rollers work wonders on feet
• Rolling pin … nessecity is the mother of all invention and in a pinch can be used in place of a foam roller but allows you to control the pressure you use

These all become your tools to manage aches and pains at home between regular massage treatments.

As you try each of these tools, you will probably find a couple that work well for you and some that don’t. Make sure to keep the ones that work handy so that they are available right when you need help.

Keep in mind that what works for the “knot” in your back may not work for your tight hamstrings … and what works for me might not work for you.

But more often than not when we are in pain, anything that helps is better than nothing.

Do you have a favourite way to manage aches and pains between regular massage treatments?


Share your favourites in the comments below.

This week I decided to look at something that has been a part of my life for about 25 years now.

Yoga.

And although I may not have practiced faithfully for 25 years, I have always been able to go back to it and draw on my experiences with it.

I have had times when I was forced to step away from practice ... I suffered from lingering hyper-mobility and joint instability after giving birth to my daughter, and although yoga felt good after she was born, it was actually making my back issues worse.

Over time I learned to listen more closely to what my body needs and the value of an amazing teacher (not just a video online). The power of having someone help me make accommodations for my back, knee, and ankle so that I am still able to embrace yoga and have it a part of my life despite all of my bodies challenges.

A note on the topic of Live Instruction vs Pre-recorded ... pre-recorded videos provide an amazing opportunity to access a wide range of classes not available in your area or timezone; however if you are a beginner or have challenges due to injuries or physical limitations, I highly recommend finding an instructor who does either in person classes or live online classes so that they can assist you and help to ensure that you do not hurt yourself getting into a posture that your body shouldn't go into. There are tons of accommodations that can be made, you just have to know what they are.

Before we explore the different types of yoga out there, I think we need to start by looking at what exactly Yoga is.

I have spent a lot of time recently chatting with clients about their stress level & wellbeing.
 
Pretty consistently we talk about how out of control stress is right now, and how they just don’t know what to do about it.
 
Since the stressors aren’t going away anytime soon, it’s time to create a healing ritual of mindfulness, meditation and gratitude to allow you to feel calm and to interrupt the chronic stress cycle.
 
Often, I hear that people don’t find breathing exercises helpful in moments of stress crisis (whenever the fight or flight part of your nervous system is triggered for whatever reason).
 
But I think that all it takes is creating a ritual around your breathing exercise and consistent practice to condition your mind and body to relax and breathing to calm.
 
Eventually your ritual will be successful at breaking the stress cycle in those critical moments of stress & crisis.
 
Rituals allow you to quickly and more easily shift and engage in a specific mindset. 
 
Basically you are giving your brain the cues that tell it what is coming so it can say “oh, we like the serenity we feel after this, let’s get right to that”.

Think about when you get on the massage table for your appointment, once you are settled you probably have a big sigh exhale and immediately start to let go and relax. Same exact thing.
 
So if your goal is to calm and sooth your nervous system, having a ritual around your breathing exercise can help you more quickly achieve that serenity and calm.
 
Creating Your Own Ritual
 
Your ritual should have a couple of key components when your goal is reducing your stress response. Basically the more cues you can give your brain the better, but keep it simple enough that you don’t get bogged down in the process and end up more stressed or frustrated than when you started.

1. Smell – an essential oil like lavender or frankincense or a stress relief rollerball and rub some on the palm of your hands, along your collar bones, and under your jaw; light your favourite candle or burn your favourite incense.
2. Sound – total quiet (absence of distracting sounds, even a fan); soothing nature sounds; calm classical music (check out Ludovico Einaudi, his seven days walking collection is amazing!); Tibetan singing bowl; whatever calms you. I tend to gravitate to total quiet because my house is generally full of noise, so quiet is peaceful and calming for me.
3. Breathing – any breathing exercise that works towards slow, deep breaths will interrupt the cycle of stress hormones (breathing exercises to try); choose whatever works for you, I love moon piercing breath, especially when I preform my ritual right before bed, but in the morning you might want an energizing breath like sun piercing breath.
4. Gratitude – think of 3 things you are grateful for or 3 good, joyful, wonderful things that happened that day (even if all you can think of is you drank a full cup of tea hot, you showered, and everyone is now asleep in bed); some days this is the hardest part, we tend to get bogged down by the negative or what didn't go well, but adding gratitude to your ritual helps to flip your mindset and put you in a more positive, hopeful place helping to reduce your feelings of stressed and overwhelmed.

 
Some other things that can add power to your ritual ... crystals like amethyst (has a calming vibration that is wonderful in times of anxiety and stress) or rose quartz (has a strong vibration of unconditional love, joy, warmth and connection to the heart); a mala to mark of your breaths; a mantra, my favourite one recently is Shima (pronounced she-ma) which means Love; a dedicated space to practice; aura spray (I love these from Alypsis); a mediation cushion (comfort is key).
 
What is the best time of day to practice?
 
Well this depends entirely on you.
 
If your quiet moment is when the kids are down for a nap, do it then.
 
When your stress is waking you up during the night, try preforming your ritual just prior to bed.
 
Alternately, you could try first thing in the morning for a positive and calm start to your day.

The key is to pick a time that you can consistently commit to practicing your ritual.

Rituals don’t have to take an incredible amount of time, but they do need to be practiced regularly in order for you to experience the quick and easy slip into your desired mindset.
 
Real Life Inspiration
 
One of my clients was struggling to calm her mind and get good restful sleep at night, so the ritual below is what we pulled together for her to try.

​She practiced this ritual every night, just before turning off the lights, and by her next massage appointment 4 weeks later was already experiencing improved sleep which in turn made the days easier to handle. It was still a work in progress for her, but she was beginning to feel less overwhelmed and stressed; and the plan was to continue with regularly incorporating her ritual into her bedtime routine.

Last post we looked at how I use essential oils and what my most used oils are … so now let’s take a look at why I use so much of the oils I do.

What are my most used essential oils & what are they great for?

1. Lavender – is generally regarded as the most versatile essential oil, it can be used Neat (directly on the skin without a carrier oil); regulates the central nervous system, sedative, calming, analgesic, antiseptic, antiviral, antibacterial, insect repellant, good on burns/sunburns, headaches, and skin conditions (plus so much more)
2. Frankincense – can be used Neat; grounding, calming, slows and deepens breath, good for asthma and panic attacks, pulmonary antiseptic, stimulates cell growth in skin ***Contraindicated in the first trimester of pregnancy***
3. Vetiver – deeply relaxing oil; good in times of stress and anxiety, affinity for ADHD, post-partum depression, encourages restful sleep, good general immune fortifier, muscle aches and pains, sprains and stiffness
4. Rose – nerve tonic, skin care, depression, sensitive skin, broken capillaries, eczema, PMS, menopause, is extremely antiseptic, has an affinity for uterine problems *Buy a dilution as straight essential oil is extremely expensive
5. Jasmine – sooths breathing, antidepressant, PMS-cramps, sedative effect on nervous system in stress related conditions, tonic for reproductive organs, skin elasticity *Buy a dilution as straight essential oil is expensive
6. Geranium – can be used Neat, great for fatigue, stops bleeding, scar formation, nervous tension, skin regeneration, hormone balance, bruises, stimulates lymph flow and drainage, improves skin condition, stimulates adrenal cortex
7. Tea Tree – can be used Neat, antiviral, antifungal, antibacterial, anti-inflammatory, disinfectant, skin care
8. Lemon – very antiseptic, antiinfection oil, tightens and brightens skin, helps with fluid retention, antimicrobial, stops bleeding, detoxifier *Phototoxic – do not use on skin exposed to direct sunlight
9. Grapefruit – great for jetlag, air deodorizer, muscle fatigue, water retention, lymph drainage, diuretic, liver tonic, promotes hair growth *Phototoxic – do not use on skin exposed to direct sunlight
10. Mandarin – calming on digestive tract, calming, sedative, insomnia, nervous tension, fluid retention, skin toner *Possibly Phototoxic

So now that you know my most used oils, what is my favorite blend to use?

Well it happens to be a blend that my son and I created a number of years ago when I first started working with essential oils called Overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed is perfect in times of stress or when you are literally feeling overwhelmed and in need of a little grounding.

It is soothing and grounding; slows and deepens breath; great for stress, anxiety and nervous tension; wonderful for use in meditation as well.

How do I use this blend?

Roll blend on the palm of your hands, rub you hand together then cup them over your nose and mouth, take 5 deep breaths slowly inhaling and exhaling. This covers all the ways you can benefit from the oils and can quickly bring a sense of calm.

Or ... rolled this blend underneath jaw line and on pulse points behind ears and in the hollow at the base of the neck. The oil will warm on your skin and you will be able to enjoy the smell and experience the benefits for a longer time.

Do you have any essential Essential Oils in your collection?